Short jokes
There was 3 fathers waiting for there new babies to be born. The nurse came out and said, "Congratulations 1st father you got twins." The father replied, "thats so cool, I work for the minnesota twins." After 2 minutes the nurse comes out again and says , "Congratulations 2nd father you have triplets.'' The father replies, "Thats so cool, I work for 3m." Then after 5 minutes the nurse comes out again and says, "Where is the 3rd father?" Some random guy says, "He committed suicide because he works for 7up."
submitted 4-10-11
submitted 4-10-11
Coca Cola came to tow, diet pepsi shot him down, dr.pepper fixed him up, now we're drinking seven up, seven up got the flu, now we're drink mountain dew, mountain dew fell off the mountain, now we're drinking from the fountain, fountain broke and had a stroke, now we're drinking cherry coke, cherry coke lost it's cherry, now we're drinking logan berry, logan berry got lost a sea, now we're drinking iced tea, iced tea died and choked, now we're back to drinking coke.
Submitted 4-10-11
Submitted 4-10-11
One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his mouth and asked, "Do you know what it is?" "No, I don't." said the little boy. "Okay, I'll give you a clue. It's the thing your daddy wants from your mom before he goes to work." Suddenly, a little girl at the back of the room yelled, "Spit it out! It's a piece of ass!!"
Submitted 4-10-11
Submitted 4-10-11
How to Score
I met a beautiful woman in the park the other evening. There was an instant spark between us and she fell at my feet. As we lay there, making love, I thought to myself, man, ‘These tasers are well worth the money.’
I met a beautiful woman in the park the other evening. There was an instant spark between us and she fell at my feet. As we lay there, making love, I thought to myself, man, ‘These tasers are well worth the money.’
As the coals from our barbecue burned down, our hosts passed out marshmallows and long roasting forks. Just then, two fire trucks roared by, sirens blaring, light flashing. They stopped at a house right down the block. All twelve of us raced out of the back yard, down the street, where we found the owner of the blazing house standing by helplessly. They glared at us with looks of disgust. Suddenly, we realized why... we were all still holding out roasting forks with marshmallows on them.
A guy needed a horse, so he went to a temple and got one. Before he left, the priest told him that it was a special horse. In order for it to go, you said 'thank god' and for it to stop you said 'amen'. So the guy went, and a few minutes later he dozed off on his horse. A few hours later, he woke up and was going off the edge of a cliff. So he shouted 'Amen!' and the horse stopped a few inches from the edge. 'Whew,' he said. 'Thank god.'